You Can't Take It With You
There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very much aggrieved because he had worked very hard for his money, and he wanted to be able to take it with him to Heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth.
An angel heard his plea and appeared to him, "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man implored the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.
The angel reappeared and announced that God had decided to make an exception and was allowing him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase, filled it with pure gold bars, and placed it beside his bed.
Soon afterward the man died and showed up at the pearly gates. St. Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"
But the man explained to St. Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter returned, saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."
St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, "You brought pavement?"